I’m just scratching the surface. It’s all about staying healthy and taking the time to push this. It started in 2001 when I first came to Mexico City. I couldn’t stop taking photos of all the macro surfaces of colors and textures. Everything collided for me in those moments and I promised myself I would live here one day and make art. I went home and painted a mural in my bay window after years of anorexic art making.
It took what it took to get here. A year ago when I moved back to CDMX I came hell-bent on the goal of doing what I finished today in the studio. It took what it took to get here. This spot. Where the mental washed away and I realized I could do this. The breakthrough came in June after a rainstorm. I went to take a photo of this one spot and the paper had been dampened. I saw the layers below. I peeled some away. I never left my house without a spray bottle and the camera again.
It took what it took to get here. In November I tested HIV positive and in December I lost my mind. That turned to me destroying a wall in the streets of Mexico City. I had no boundary other than the need to release the emotional stress and not edit myself to make anyone else feel better about how shitty I felt. So I stripped that wall down and photographed the entire process. Then I picked up the paper and took it back to the studio. F*&& this Sh*U – I am not waiting anymore to try it. It took what it took to get here.
Took me a few days to get back here to write. Not sure why as I love to write, but it has not been flowing as normal.
I guess my main point is that I can look back and see how the drama of the past 5 months has been a catalyst for pushing my work. I have always been concerned with time and having enough to reach my goals. Now I am concerned with managing energies and making sure I can get through each day. In that light I have slowed down but found I am more productive overall than I have ever been. Surprise surprise for me.