It’s been an interesting few days. My mojo drained. I am wandering the streets. Seeking inspiration. It’s not your fault Oaxaca. I showed up burned out. Complicated by a terrible airbnb experience. Dirty. Vacant. Just not what I was expecting. A cloak of loneliness fell over me. I travel by myself all the time, but this time it felt very different for me. I rushed out the door without my sketchbook. I over packed things I did not need. I did not bring my pillow. Did I mention the airbnb was horrible? Oh, yes I did. Well and then here I am in Oaxaca City.
Have you been? One of the most insanely incredible places in Mexico. Hot as all get out. i forgot my hat so I had to buy a new one. Something inexpensive. Something flexible. Something not quite fashion forward. Not even fashion backwards. Just kind of formless and ugly, but it has the universe painted on it and I can fold it easily into my pocket.
Some thought I might be having heat stroke to buy this, but damn’it my head is on fire! I mold it into different forms and wait for people to point and stare. Oh I have fallen off topic. It’s hard to talk about these moments when I am not inspired. I am not used to it. Coming off a binge of creativity to prep for that meeting with a guy about a show. ‘A Guy About a Show’ is the name of my new autobiography. Not really, but it could be. So many people making promises or presenting opportunities. I get all excited and work myself into a frenzy to meet their deadline. And then…then what? Exactly. Nothing. They no show. They drop communications. Energy. Time. Creativity. Expansion. Funds gone. I mean I don’t lose the work. It’s there. I don’t lose the experience. It’s there. It’s just time right? Well yes and no. I mean I redirect my energies. I skip a few spanish classes. I spend money. I cook for the meeting (or Rappi it in). Then I sit there. 1PM. Nothing. Emails. Text. WhatsAPP. Nothing. 2PM. Repeat. 3PM. This is sounding strangely like my dating life. I believe what the guy tells me and then he lives up to the expectation of disappointment. Then the next day I get on a plane to go to Oaxaca and I can’t quite understand why I feel depressed.
It’s a bump in the road. A topé. Slows me for a moment. I lose my breathe. I falter. I stammer. I seek comfort in a boozy mescal or a boozy fella. Or both. I’m not stupid. I get this is the way the world works. I’m not 11 years old. I have life experiences that validate me and expunge these losers from my life. It’s just when the loser is gne the thoughts are still there taking up space in my mind. So I will flagellate a few days. Soak in sun. Drink more mescal. Say a few inappropriate things in my head and move forward to the next list of expectations.
Don’t worry folks. I am not one to stand still for too long. Chop chop. Time to get over yo bad self. Arte #Art #Artista #Artist #Color #Texture #Colour #Textura #LaRoma #LGTBQ #Creatividad #processo #process #chromaticexplorer #MichealSwank
and then after writing this I went up to the rooftop of this building having released onto the pixel paper my frustrations to be overwhelmed with the urge to create.