Mending

Today is the first day I have felt fully human in a month. My stomach turned on me and took the entire system down. I could not eat for weeks. I was struggling with water and soup. I’ve had bad stomach problems for much of the last 8 years or more, so it’s not new … Leap ForwardMending

Internalized Homophobia – a daily meditation

I am returning to some photos I took at the start of the month. Yesterday I was angsting out about slow sales to a close friend. He stated that maybe my work had become too “strong”. It coded but clear to me. We are always in this internal battle with ourselves. It’s an internalized homophobia … Leap ForwardInternalized Homophobia – a daily meditation

I am nothing if not an emotional exhibitionist

I am nothing if not an emotional exhibitionist.  What a dramatic title yes? Well that’s what it feels like being separated from my paintings the adorned my studio for the past year in Ventura, CA. I miss my babies. They are in the gallery there living and breathing without me. I would see them every … Leap ForwardI am nothing if not an emotional exhibitionist

Progress

Many hours of work to accomplish what before would seem so simple. Life right? First it was getting this site up and running. That goal had been sitting around for a few years and came to fruition about 6 weeks ago. In that time I have garnered over 1000 subscribers to site. How cool is … Leap ForwardProgress

Prepping

Wait, you didn’t just come here to see the black bar removed from the photo did you? Perve. But hey, no judgement. 🙂 I’m working through my ideas of how the model will need to move and what I will need from them in advance. It helps me to model it here first and think … Leap ForwardPrepping

Ciudad de Oaxaca

It’s been an interesting few days. My mojo drained. I am wandering the streets. Seeking inspiration. It’s not your fault Oaxaca. I showed up burned out. Complicated by a terrible airbnb experience. Dirty. Vacant. Just not what I was expecting. A cloak of loneliness fell over me. I travel by myself all the time, but … Leap ForwardCiudad de Oaxaca

The Frenzy

Much of the time the only way I can stay honest to my practice is to set goals (metas) for myself. Generally my goals are lofty overall and then drilled down to tasks like complete two paintings in a week to prepare for meeting a curator. I realized that the other gallery was going to … Leap ForwardThe Frenzy

Calurosa

What follows are the noted stream of thoughts and dialogue noted while working on this painting.  Calurosa – Las nubes desaparecieron y el tiempo se puso caluroso. The clouds dispersed and the weather turned warm. And so did my emotions. I could not escape the way I was feeling and it filled the surface. A powerful wave. … Leap ForwardCalurosa

Surviving

Admittedly I get sick more frequently when I live in Mexico City DF. It’s part of being here and being such a sensitive soul. JAJA. Yes I said sensitive soul. It’s all connected. The pollution, the crowded spaces, the endless walking and exploration. I stay up later working and I am generally in motion more … Leap ForwardSurviving

Blindness

I sometimes can’t work on a piece. I stop in a moment and walk away. There is a moment of terror. Will I go too far and not be able to come back. There is also a moment of recognition. The painting. The muse. The energy. The whatever you want to call it has asked … Leap ForwardBlindness

Radio Silence

Don’t assume my silence isn’t because I am not working. On the contrary, I am in full speed mode. Not all activity is directly related to creating the actual work. Sometimes it’s all about business…which reminds me of 10 things I need to do this week still. I sent off 10 new images to get … Leap ForwardRadio Silence

Joan

  Thanks to my friend Mark and his excellent massage skills, I was able to pick back up on this piece again. My hand had gotten to the point where it was swelling and making it difficult to hold the pastel stick and other tools. It turned out to be somewhat of a benefit for … Leap ForwardJoan

Failure

Here’s the thing I never got in college from my teachers. Failure happens a lot in the creation of anything. We just don’t talk about it because we’re afraid that failing makes us failures. There is the judgement in our minds long before others are allowed to judge us. In art it’s out there, right? … Leap ForwardFailure

Progress is still ….PROGRESS

“The need to be perfect cannot outweigh the value of what has been accomplished.The need to be perfect cannot outweigh the value of what has been accomplished.The need to be perfect cannot outweigh the value of what has been accomplished.The need to be perfect cannot outweigh the value of what has been accomplished.The need to … Leap ForwardProgress is still ….PROGRESS